Although I mentor couples through wedding planning, I frequently find myself in awe of my clients' insights and nuggets of wisdom when it comes to weddings. For instance, one member of the DIY Wedding Mentor forum posted something recently that struck me as one of the most profound truths about weddings. She wrote, "I want a marriage more beautiful than my wedding."
When I asked permission to quote her in this week's blog, she said that she saw it on Pinterest. And although she wasn't the first to come up with the quote, she--like so many of my clients--had the wisdom to hear all the wedding-planning noise that is out there and pick out the single thing which is truly most important.
Our culture often overlooks what's at the heart of a wedding: a small seed that with nourishment will grow into a beautiful, life-long love. And although decor, flowers and the rest of all the wedding-planning decisions are exciting and make for a beautiful wedding day, I've come to realize it's actually the smaller, day-to-day decisions during wedding planning that are most important.
For instance, during Rick's and my engagement it became clear that one small decision was just as important as all the other decisions we were making at the time. It was taking a break from wedding planning so we could reconnect. We'd leave cell phones behind and grab an ice cream, sit in a park, or go for a ride on his motorcycle, and I'd do my best to avoid talking about the wedding. Politics, religion and everything else in between was all fair game in my mind except the wedding.
Now in retrospect, I actually see taking a break from planning was much more important than any other wedding-planning decision. More important than the dress. More important than the rings. More important than the music. More important than the food (and anyone who knows us will tell you how much we love good food!).
The small, everyday choice like taking a break in a busy time of our lives laid the foundation for how we would interact and be with one another in other busy times ahead (ahem, like that time I started my own business!). And though I'm still learning, it was during our engagement that I started to understand how important it was to turn off the noise from the outside world and focus on us. It wasn't easy since I'm a planner, a do-er, and a problem solver, but with practice it's definitely getting easier.
So although it may be surprising to hear this from a wedding planner, I would say that sometimes the very best decision you can make is to just stop planning. Focus on small decisions that are important to your marriage, even if it means putting the wedding planning on hold for a little while. No matter how the wedding goes, you'll be left with a beautiful marriage. And that's what really counts.
If you're looking for new ways to take a break from wedding planning with your partner, here's a Pinterest board with dozens of ideas. And we'd love to hear about your favorite way to take a break from planning below!