By Caitlin Frauton

Having just finished my third wedding season of coordinating laidback & meaningful DIY weddings, it's really become obvious to me which details matter - and those that don't. 

When I was planning my own DIY wedding (which was the very first wedding I planned before starting DIY Wedding Mentor), I had hunches about the details that mattered, but - maybe like you - I heard so much conflicting information I wasn't totally sure what was true and what wasn't.

Like they say, there is no teacher like experience. Some of my hunches about details proved right. And some... well... they proved wrong.

Over time - and many weddings later - I've learned the details that really do matter for weddings, and what details are just hyped up.

Particularly if you are having a relaxed and meaningful wedidng, here are a few of my favorites to focus on and a few you can nix. 

The detail that matters: signage & information 
The detail that doesn't matter: wedding stationary

One of the easiest ways to keep a wedding relaxed is to make sure that guests know where to go -- where to park, where to go for the ceremony, where to go for cocktail hour, where to go for the reception, what there is to eat, what there is to drink, and where to go to the bathroom (yep, that's an important one!). 

There are so many options with getting guests this information that don't involve fancy, expensive, custom print outs. Wedding websites are a great place for getting guests the basic details to get to themselves to the wedding. And one menu sign can easily replace 150 individual menu print outs, while one bathroom sign can easily avoid people wondering around frantically after they've had one too many craft beers.

Instead of worry about all the different options for wedding stationary and custom wedding suites, focus on what questions guests are going to have about your wedding, and how to best get them the answers.

The detail that matters: keeping people's belly's full
The detial that doesn't matter: what you keep their belly's full with

Having seen hangry wedding guests, I know they are a group you don't want to mess with. All of a sudden, sweet old Aunt Sally becomes cranky old Aunt Sally. She goes back to being sweet old Sally once she's eaten, but it's a situation that's definitley best avoided for all involved.

So instead of focusing on what people are going to eat (truly, at laidback weddings, guests don't care if it's pizza and beer or a 5-course meal from a Michelin chef), focus on how much food to serve, when to serve it, and how to serve it quickly. 

The detail that matters: making guests feel welcome
The detail that doesn't matter: hotel bags

One thing that was a total waste of time for our wedding was our hotel bags. I remember thinking in a zombie-like state, "We must have camp-themed hotel bags to go with our camp wedding." I was frantically trying to buy items for them, make the bags, and then get them dropped off at the hotel in time for guests arriving. Yep, total waste of time. 

If I were to do it all over again, this is what I'd do - I'd write a short, nice letter welcoming guests to our wedding, and telling them how happy we are that they came to the wedding. Instead of a bag, I'd ask the front desk give a copy of the letter to guests as they check in. If I was feeling really ambitious, I might leave one basket of cookies for everyone to grab a cookie from, too.

There are a bizillion easier ways to do welcome guests to your wedding than hotel bags. The easiests ways - welcome them at the rehearsal dinner, have your officiant welcome them at the ceremony, and/or welcome them with a little speech from you and your partner during the reception.

Nothing says "Welcome" like heartfelt words from you, and there's no way a bag with 2 waterbottles and Fritos can compete with that. 

The detail that matters: figuring out rides
The detail that doesn't matter: paying for transportation

Getting you, your partner, and wedding party to the wedding on time is really important. But pulling up in a fancy car really isn't. 

Unless you specifically want guests to see what car you pull up to the ceremony in, they typically don't see the car you arrive in. Guests are waiting for the ceremony start, chatting, and catching up with one another. By the time the ceremony music starts and take their seats, you are out of the car and lined up for the processional. Or you might even have arrived at the venue a couple hours ago for pictures well before any guests were there.

So instead of booking a fancy car or limo, make sure you know who is driving and what car they are driving in. This way there is no last-minute scramble to find a ride for everyone. Uber, your bridesmaids' or groomsmens' car, your parents' car - these are all perfectly acceptable wedding day transportation options. 

The detail that matters: saying thank you
The detail that doesn't matter: favors

Much like being welcomed, it's important to thank guests for traveling to and attending your wedding. You can absolutely choose to say that with an individual favor for everyone OR you could absolutely find another way to thank them..

A few options: add a "thank you" into your speech with your partner during the reception, go around to each table during the reception to thank guests for coming, have a single thank you sign that everyone will see, hand out desserts to your guests personally and thank them while doing it, and/or write a very heartfelt thank you card when all is said and done.

One couple I worked with this summer wrote a heartfelt note to each family, couple or guest that attended their wedding, put them in envelopes, and used those for favors. They wrote people's names on the envelope along with their table numbers, and the notes then also doubled as escort cards. It was the only wedding I have ever seen where there literally was not one single "favor" left behind. 

​When I was planning our summer camp wedding, one of the things I knew was going to be a BIG task was set up, but what I didn't realize is exactly what that would entail. 

I guessed on how long set up would take. I guessed at how many people we would need to help. And I guessed about the areas we would need to set up. 

As a result, I, Rick (my wonderful, now husband), and our nearest and dearest were totally under prepared for doing the set up for our DIY wedding.

We're blessed with AMAZING friends and family with inspiring can-do attitudes, but had we known all that setting up would entail - truth be told - we would have done it differently  (and avoided seeing some of our best helpers look a bit like zombies toward the end the of wedding). 

So now knowing what I know as a wedding coordinator for DIY weddings and having helped with set up for dozens of weddings, this is what I would have done differently:

• I would have gotten super clear on what set up entailed beyond putting centerpieces on tables
• I would have trimmed the non-necessities (goodbye bed linens for the camp cabins and hello B.Y.O.B.S. a.k.a. bring your own bed sheets!) 
• I would have delegated better (and not had a few champion helpers do the vast majority of tasks)
• And I would have added in a lot more time for set up (I've since learned underestimating set-up time is very common for DIY weddings)

This week, after a couple people asked about it, I made it may goal to help couples anticipate their own set-up needs by talking about it frankly in the Facebook group DIY Wedding LOVEFEST.  

Hope this helps you with the set up for your own wedding, and leads to wedding day zen for you, your partner, family and friends! 

Looking for some alternative wedding ideas for your rehearsal dinner that will encourage your guests to mingle together like bees around a hive? If so, this list of unique wedding rehearsal dinner ideas has got you covered.

I attended a wedding last month of a friend who had a Western-themed rehearsal dinner that was incredibly fun, and it got me thinking about other unique wedding rehearsal ideas that couples planning their wedding can do. Though the sky's the limit when it comes to ideas, the ones below are all things that are easy to implement and are relatively affordable compared to the more traditional, fancy restaurant rehearsal dinner.

As someone who is always up for an insanely fun group wedding activity, I want to do every single wedding rehearsal activity that is on this list. It's not necessarily because each activity is awesomely fun on its own (which obviously they all are), but because each one has a unique way of bringing people together and breaking the ice easily.

Granted, as long as there is a welcoming vibe at any rehearsal dinner, your guests are going to start getting to know one another real fast, but if you're looking to speed up the process, the wedding rehearsal dinner ideas below will help you do just that.

1. Go wild with a Western-themed night
An excuse to wear a comfy plaid shirt, a cowgirl hat, cowboy boots, and occasionally yell "Yeehaw"? Yes, please! This is such a fun rehearsal dinner option, because it gets guests quickly talking about their attire and lots of laughs.

Bonus: If you actually live out west, you can have dinner at a historic cowboy bar like J.T. Basque Bar in Gardnerville, Nevada. This is where my friend's rehearsal dinner was, and everything from the family-style dinner down to the throwback 1800s wallpaper was a conversation starter.

2. Get messy with a New England clambake
Nothing says summer wedding fun like a good old-fashioned New England-style clam bake. There's something about wearing lobster bibs, attacking shells with various tool-like utensils, and dipping food in melted butter that turns an ordinary rehearsal dinner into a festive, fun-filled one.

3. Spread team spirit with a corn hole tournament
This idea is inspired by Toss 'Em Tuesdays at Sugarbush Ski Resort in Warren, Vermont. Every Tuesday during the summer they hold a corn hole tournament, and before the night is through, complete strangers are talking like the best of buddies. Just imagine what an activity like this could do for your wedding guests! Hire a caterer with a mobile brick oven like Woodbelly Pizza to serve on-the-spot, oven-baked pizza, and you and your guests will be having the "Best time ever!" in no time.

Bonus: Get a custom corn hole set, and have the guests sign it at the wedding for a unique guest book alternative.

4. Get guests sipping and sampling with a beer or wine tasting
A beer or wine tasting is great, because you can literally include it in practically any rehearsal dinner idea. Simply pick out a few beers and/or wines, have someone who knows a thing or two about them pour, and discuss them with guests. Ta-da! Suddenly you have an engaging activity for guests to participate in and chat about to break the ice.

5. Get funky at the bowling alley
Bowling is another great option for getting the crowd interacting. Plus, a bowling alley and all the other things it comes with these days (food, bar, game machines, pool tables) mean a night of fun for everyone — kiddos included!

6. Help everyone get a sugar high at the ice cream parlor
Looking for an affordable way to save on your rehearsal dinner? Try an ice cream parlor. Some ice cream parlors have full dinner menus, while other stick to the sugary good stuff. Either way, this is a more affordable option than many wedding rehearsal dinner options, because rarely will you find a bar at an ice cream parlor. Another perk is that the ice cream parlor is such a unique way to spend the night that no one even misses the bar, and everyone's well-rested for the wedding day.

7. Have a throwback dinner at a classic diner
Having a rehearsal dinner at a classic diner can be another affordable and fun option. Encourage your guests to wear their best Grease-inspired outfit, and order their favorite food. Looking to kick the party up a notch? Turn on the jukebox or rent a karaoke machine, and let the good times roll.

8. Let someone else throw a "surprise" party for you
Feeling like you have enough to do let alone think about planning the rehearsal dinner? Give the reigns to someone else, and let them surprise you and your partner for a memorable evening before the wedding. Don't want to ask them to foot the bill? Just give them your budget and let them work their magic.

Looking for other alternative ideas for your wedding? Check out these unique wedding reception ideas your guests will love.

Caitlin Frauton is the Founder and Lead Coordinator at DIY Wedding Mentor, and developed the DIY Wedding Planner's Guide, an affordable alternative to hiring a wedding planner. The DIY Wedding Planner's Guide provides couples with a proven-system for planning their DIY wedding and a private Facebook group for couples to ask all their specific wedding planning questions while getting answers from actual wedding coordinators. To learn more, visit http://www.diyweddingmentor.com/planners-guide.html. This article also was published on Bustle.com. 

Are you looking for some expert DIY wedding tips to make sure your day goes off beautifully? According to this article in The New York Times "Offline, D.I.Y. Weddings Aren't So Picture Perfect," you're not the only one. Doing a DIY wedding by yourself can be stressful, and we've all heard the DIY wedding horror stories: not enough drinks (particularly on a hot summer's day), seriously delayed wedding ceremonies (as in hours), and I've even heard about a tented wedding in a grass field without bathrooms (just a minor oversight, right?). According to the BBQ caterer I heard the sans bathroom story from, even the grandmother had to "pop a squat." Yikes!

But here's the thing, the vast majority of DIY weddings I see are absolutely beautiful, wonderful celebrations, and are definitely not the messes that many people assume DIY weddings to be. And, as a wedding coordinator, I see a lot of them.

Are there little bumps and surprises at DIY weddings? Yes, of course. Is the average number of these surprises at DIY weddings likely higher than other weddings at traditional wedding venues with a full team of professional vendors who work together on a regular basis? Yes, of course. But does that mean that DIY weddings in general are a bad idea? Absolutely not. They are often an incredibly beautiful coming together of family and friends, and a truly-one-of-a-kind way to start a marriage. 

If you're going the DIY route and are worried about things not being "picture perfect," here are tips to keep your wedding on track.

1. Keep expectations in line with your budget
Things can run amok when a couple has champagne taste on a beer budget, because too much money is spent on the champagne, and not enough is spent on other things like water, ice, and cups (all of which are relatively boring, but much more essential for a large event). The very best, most organized DIY weddings are when the couple is well aware of what their budget can and cannot buy, and prioritize accordingly.

2. Speaking of that — prioritize
Think through what things are essential to holding a large event, and spend just as much — if not more — time planning those things as you do picking out bridesmaid dresses, centerpieces, and other wedding items. 

3. Do your research
Before committing to DIY some aspect of the wedding (like for instance, handling reception music with an iPod), learn what that really means. What equipment will you need to rent or buy? Who will move the equipment from the ceremony to the reception space? It's only when you've fully thought something through that you are really prepared to DIY it.

4. When soliciting help, be aware of how much people are taking on
Family and friends are often the saving graces of DIY weddings and are often the reason DIY weddings are a beautiful coming together of community. In most cases, though, there is a tipping point where people helping too much can begin to feel tired, stressed, and ragged. Prevent that by either divvying up the work more, or deciding to cut back on the work that needs to be done
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5. Take the simplest route possible
Weddings — DIY or otherwise, but certainly DIY — are a lot of work. During the days leading up to the wedding, you will likely have more than enough to keep you and a few of your nearest and dearest very busy, so whenever possible, keep it simple. This includes doing DIY floral centerpieces and other DIY projects such as guest books, seating assignments, and all the other details you could easily get bogged down in if you let yourself. Remember that in most cases, less is more.
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6. Let go of the idea that a wedding needs to be picture perfect
If you and your partner are married, and everyone had an awesome time at your wedding (and by "everyone," I particularly mean you and your partner), it's more than OK if everything did not go exactly as you expected it to. As long as you've done your planning thoroughly, you'll be in great shape. "Perfect" is a really challenging goal to meet, and sets you up for disappointment if one thing is off ever so slightly. I say strive for "pretty darn amazing" instead. Plus, it's way more fun than trying for perfect.

This post appeared on Bustle.com.

So you've decided you're ready to commit, but the thought of walking down the aisle makes you nervous? Not to worry — you're definitely not alone. When it comes to walking down the aisle, there is definitely a large group of people who don't get excited by the idea of it. For some people, it's because they don't want all the attention, and for others it's because the traditional father-bride walk down the aisle just doesn't fit their circumstances. Whatever the reason, if walking down the aisle doesn't feel right to you, there are alternatives to walking down the aisle to get yourself through the start of the ceremony in a cool, calm, and collected fashion.

The most common thing I see is having someone else besides your father escort you. Moms, grandparents, siblings, good friends, and even your best friend Fido all make for excellent escorts. Instead of having the traditional perspective that the person walking down the aisle is "giving you away," you may want to think of it more as the person who is walking you down the aisle is supporting you through this life transition. This simple shift in perspective opens up the possibilities of who can escort you down the aisle to anyone who has been a support in your life.

The second most common thing I see is the the couple walking down the aisle together. It's really beautiful to watch the couple enter into the ceremony arm and arm, and it definitely removes some of the gender role traditions from the ceremony. This approach can be liberating for couples who find the traditional gender roles limiting, or not befitting of their relationship.

If you, however, are looking to ditch the traditional aisle walk completely, andplan your wedding ceremony the way you want it to be, here are a few creative alternatives for your wedding ceremony.

1. Make a bouquet during your walk down the aisle
One way to get down the aisle is to have guests hold flowers at their seats, and give them to you to collect as you walk down the aisle. This allows you to stop and greet the most important people in your life as you make your way to the front. The ability to talk to people as you go mixed with taking your time getting to the ceremony space definitely creates a more relaxed atmosphere, and you end up with a bouquet that your guests have contributed to that symbolizes their love and support for you. My eyes are watering just thinking about it.

2. Have a ceremony circle
Circle ceremonies are becoming more and more popular as couples try out new creative ceremony seating ideas. One wedding venue I partner with, theIntervale Center in Burlington, Vermont, has a ceremony area that's called the "The Garden Circle," and there are circle ceremony ideas all over Pinterest. There are a couple different options when it comes to circle ceremonies: you can arrange guests in a spiral and walk through the spiral to get to the center, or you can have guests gather in a circle and leave two spots open for you and your partner, which you fill when the ceremony starts.

3. Mingle in the crowd, and make your way to the front
This idea comes from the blog 2000 Dollar Wedding, which is a personal favorite of mine. Sara Cotner, the bride and blogger, explains it best:
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"So, we did the only thing that made sense for us as couple: We pulled up to the ceremony site in my Toyota Scion xA (I was driving) and got out. We walked toward the crowd that had started to gather and simply started talking to people. Easy peasy...When it was time to start, we pressed play on our iPod, and everyone in the wedding party made their way to the front. When we were there, someone stopped the music and the ceremony started.It's as simple as that."

4. Have your guests enter your ceremony space after you
Another way to start your ceremony is by keeping the ceremony space closed off and out of view of guests. Before the ceremony starts, you, your partner, and wedding party can be at the front of the ceremony space, and then guests enter afterward. I haven't seen this one done yet, but it could certainly be as formal or relaxed as you like. You could simply direct guests to find their seats when they enter, or they could come up and say "hello" before taking their seats, which would create a more social atmosphere.

5. Lead all the guests in a processional to the ceremony space
At one ceremony we coordinated this summer, guests lined up a couple hundred feet or so from the ceremony space, and then walked to the ceremony space with the wedding party in front. A fiddler accompanied them as they walked to the ceremony space, and it was truly a beautiful, community-focused way to start the ceremony. There were no seats (the group of guests gathered around the couple at the ceremony space), and the fiddler played at the outskirts of the group. It was festive, fun, and ameaningful way to personalize a wedding ceremony.

What's great about weddings today is that there are no hard and fast rules, so feel free to use one of these alternatives to walking down the aisle, or come up with your own. If at the end of the day you're married to the one you love, it won't matter just how you got there.