By Caitlin Frauton

When it comes to super mainstream wedding magazines and sites, there are lots of ideas that are touted as "DIY" and "budget friendly." But you have probably realized by now that often these ideas are out of touch with the reality of planning your own wedding.

In most cases, they are incredibly time-consuming, not all that inexpensive, and emphasize the importance of the decor looking good over any other aspect of the wedding. But there are so many other amazing things to focus on like your ceremony, vows, and making awesomely fun, once-in-a-lifetime memories with your guests. 

I see a lot of DIY weddings. And I will tell you, very rarely is there a wedding were every decorative detail is Pinterest worthy.

So what do I see? Well when it comes to decor, I see a lot of DIY projects that look like baskets of flowers below that lined the aisle at my own wedding. My philosophy at the time was that babies breath, plus baskets, meant a small time investment and no skill required. Flowers - done.

And then there's the decor that inevitably gets done in the final moments of setting up (or when you run out of steam - whichever comes first). Hence, this less than "perfect" sign below (again, from my own wedding).

But even though this sign and the rest of the decor around it isn't necessarily the stuff that Pinterest dreams are made of, I'm incredibly proud of it.

That lantern was a gift to us from my husband Rick's sister -- the sweetest, most kind sister-in-law in the world. That grass braid tied around the top of the lantern had been there for months before our wedding from a great day Rick and I spent on an outdoor adventure together (and it felt silly to remove it just because it didn't "fit in").

I love that the vase in the background is one my favorites from our home, and the flowers were put in it by my aunts, who helped us set up. I still love those little birch straws from the Paper Source that were a splurge at $10 (we had some left over from the wedding, and we now use them for Bloody Mary's). And I even love that my handwriting -- imperfect as it was -- is all over that sign.

​Each piece that decor was ours. Each piece of it was real. 

But these aren't the types of pictures that I often see on the most popular sites.

What I see are the really impressive projects and super-polished pieces of decor being touted as easy, affordable, and DIY. It's these pictures that skew our expectations about what real homegrown and heartfelt weddings look like. And, whether on purpose or not, they trick us into focusing our time and energy on what things look like rather than what they feel. like.

Don't get me wrong - I love pretty things. I admire beautiful decor. I love the look and smell of lush flowers. And I still find myself in girlish awe of a beautiful wedding dress. But these really shine at a wedding when they come from a place of joy and excitement, and not a place of keeping up with the Pinterest Joneses.

Many of the couples I work with do have beautiful weddings, and part of is because they tend to put some thought into what their wedding going to look like. But every single one of them puts just as much -- if not more -- thought into making themselves and their guests feel relaxed, comfortable, and at ease on their wedding day. This way everyone can feel the incredible amount of joy and happiness that permeates a wedding day. 

What makes their weddings truly beautiful is the sense of love, community, connectedness that only a couple (and not a centerpiece) can bring to a wedding. And this is only possible when we stop focusing on how things look, and shift to focusing on the things that really matter. 

So I ask you, will the real DIY weddings please stand up? If you're a real couple, on a real budget, having a real DIY wedding -- all that realness, no matter what it looks like, is something to be incredibly proud of. 

Looking for some alternative wedding ideas for your rehearsal dinner that will encourage your guests to mingle together like bees around a hive? If so, this list of unique wedding rehearsal dinner ideas has got you covered.

I attended a wedding last month of a friend who had a Western-themed rehearsal dinner that was incredibly fun, and it got me thinking about other unique wedding rehearsal ideas that couples planning their wedding can do. Though the sky's the limit when it comes to ideas, the ones below are all things that are easy to implement and are relatively affordable compared to the more traditional, fancy restaurant rehearsal dinner.

As someone who is always up for an insanely fun group wedding activity, I want to do every single wedding rehearsal activity that is on this list. It's not necessarily because each activity is awesomely fun on its own (which obviously they all are), but because each one has a unique way of bringing people together and breaking the ice easily.

Granted, as long as there is a welcoming vibe at any rehearsal dinner, your guests are going to start getting to know one another real fast, but if you're looking to speed up the process, the wedding rehearsal dinner ideas below will help you do just that.

1. Go wild with a Western-themed night
An excuse to wear a comfy plaid shirt, a cowgirl hat, cowboy boots, and occasionally yell "Yeehaw"? Yes, please! This is such a fun rehearsal dinner option, because it gets guests quickly talking about their attire and lots of laughs.

Bonus: If you actually live out west, you can have dinner at a historic cowboy bar like J.T. Basque Bar in Gardnerville, Nevada. This is where my friend's rehearsal dinner was, and everything from the family-style dinner down to the throwback 1800s wallpaper was a conversation starter.

2. Get messy with a New England clambake
Nothing says summer wedding fun like a good old-fashioned New England-style clam bake. There's something about wearing lobster bibs, attacking shells with various tool-like utensils, and dipping food in melted butter that turns an ordinary rehearsal dinner into a festive, fun-filled one.

3. Spread team spirit with a corn hole tournament
This idea is inspired by Toss 'Em Tuesdays at Sugarbush Ski Resort in Warren, Vermont. Every Tuesday during the summer they hold a corn hole tournament, and before the night is through, complete strangers are talking like the best of buddies. Just imagine what an activity like this could do for your wedding guests! Hire a caterer with a mobile brick oven like Woodbelly Pizza to serve on-the-spot, oven-baked pizza, and you and your guests will be having the "Best time ever!" in no time.

Bonus: Get a custom corn hole set, and have the guests sign it at the wedding for a unique guest book alternative.

4. Get guests sipping and sampling with a beer or wine tasting
A beer or wine tasting is great, because you can literally include it in practically any rehearsal dinner idea. Simply pick out a few beers and/or wines, have someone who knows a thing or two about them pour, and discuss them with guests. Ta-da! Suddenly you have an engaging activity for guests to participate in and chat about to break the ice.

5. Get funky at the bowling alley
Bowling is another great option for getting the crowd interacting. Plus, a bowling alley and all the other things it comes with these days (food, bar, game machines, pool tables) mean a night of fun for everyone — kiddos included!

6. Help everyone get a sugar high at the ice cream parlor
Looking for an affordable way to save on your rehearsal dinner? Try an ice cream parlor. Some ice cream parlors have full dinner menus, while other stick to the sugary good stuff. Either way, this is a more affordable option than many wedding rehearsal dinner options, because rarely will you find a bar at an ice cream parlor. Another perk is that the ice cream parlor is such a unique way to spend the night that no one even misses the bar, and everyone's well-rested for the wedding day.

7. Have a throwback dinner at a classic diner
Having a rehearsal dinner at a classic diner can be another affordable and fun option. Encourage your guests to wear their best Grease-inspired outfit, and order their favorite food. Looking to kick the party up a notch? Turn on the jukebox or rent a karaoke machine, and let the good times roll.

8. Let someone else throw a "surprise" party for you
Feeling like you have enough to do let alone think about planning the rehearsal dinner? Give the reigns to someone else, and let them surprise you and your partner for a memorable evening before the wedding. Don't want to ask them to foot the bill? Just give them your budget and let them work their magic.

Looking for other alternative ideas for your wedding? Check out these unique wedding reception ideas your guests will love.

Caitlin Frauton is the Founder and Lead Coordinator at DIY Wedding Mentor, and developed the DIY Wedding Planner's Guide, an affordable alternative to hiring a wedding planner. The DIY Wedding Planner's Guide provides couples with a proven-system for planning their DIY wedding and a private Facebook group for couples to ask all their specific wedding planning questions while getting answers from actual wedding coordinators. To learn more, visit http://www.diyweddingmentor.com/planners-guide.html. This article also was published on Bustle.com. 

One of the things that has become very clear to me during my time as a wedding coordinator is that wedding planning checklists for budget-friendly weddings are very different than wedding planning checklists for more formal weddings. As it turns out, wedding planning timelines and checklists are awesomely unique and creative, just like couples.

For instance, if you're not having a florist because your super talented aunt with a green thumb is creating your wedding centerpieces in order to save you money on your wedding flowers, then you do not need to book your florist six months in advance. So how do you know when should be doing certain wedding planning tasks?

In all honesty, there is no straight answer, because every budget-friendly wedding is different. One wedding may have branches and leaves in a large mason jar for centerpieces (which can be made a few weeks before the wedding), while another may have fresh flowers picked from a flower farm (which must often be done the day before or on the day of the wedding).

However, with that said, there are some standard wedding planning tasks that can be done at certain times if you're planning your own wedding. I've been keeping track of all the tasks as I've coordinated dozens of non-traditional weddings, and documenting all of them as I go. Below you'll find a comprehensive list, so dive in, plan away, and make sure to have fun doing it!

Note: This list is the pared down version of the The Insanely Detailed Wedding Day Checklist. If you find this list helpful, sign up to receive the full-length version for free here. 

When you first get engaged:
____ Determine goals for your wedding.
____ Decide on the style, theme, or overall vibe for your wedding.
____ Determine how much time you can devote to wedding planning.
____ Create a budget if necessary.
____ Figure out how many family and friends you expect to help you put your wedding together.
____ Decide on a wedding party, if you are having one.

Shortly after you're engaged:
____ Find and book your wedding venue.
____ Choose a ceremony and reception start time.
____ Create the guest list.
____ Start booking your key wedding vendors (for example, the caterer, officiant, photographer, etc.).
____ Get event insurance.

Six to eight months out:
____ Start looking into reservations for any group wedding weekend activities if applicable.
____ Set up your wedding website.
____ Send out your save the dates.
____ Begin to book other vendors applicable to your wedding that you haven't already booked (for example, transportation, a photobooth, etc.).
____ Book your rehearsal dinner location.
____ Decide on wedding attire for you, your partner, and the wedding party.

Five months out:
____ Start thinking about and choosing your wedding decor, as well as other wedding items such as the guest book, seating chart, and favors.
____ Decide what DIY projects you want to do, and plan when you will do them (the earlier, the better!).

Four months out:
____ Visit the venue again, and make your event layout.
____ Start looking for your wedding rings.
____ Set up a wedding registry (if you're having one).

Three months out:
____ Discuss and choose with your partner what things you would and wouldn't like to include in your day-of timeline (for example, a cake cutting, bouquet toss, etc.).
____ Start creating your job list for family and friends who will be helping on your wedding day.
____ Start creating your wedding playlists if applicable.

Two months out:
____ Get your wedding attire altered if necessary.
____ Start writing or brainstorming your vows.
____ Finish up any DIY projects that you can.

Six weeks out:
____ Mail your wedding invites, including rehearsal dinner invites, and track RSVPs.
____ Loop in your wedding coordinator (or the person who will be the point person on your big day), if you decide to have one.
____ Finalize the items in your day-of timeline, and assign exact times to the different parts of the day.

One month out:
____ Finalize your wedding ceremony with your officiant.
____ Go over your wedding timeline with your coordinator or point person, photographer, caterer, and DJ to get their feedback, and then update accordingly.
____ Get your marriage license.
____ Finish up your wedding purchases and projects for things like menus and programs.

Two to three weeks out:
____ Track down any missing RSVPs.
____ Finalize your seating chart.
____ Finalize outstanding details with vendors.
____ Update your day-of timeline with information from vendors.
____ Make your shot list for your wedding photographer.
____ Make your song list for your DJ, and specify the order of your wedding party for introductions.
____ Have a meeting with your coordinator (or point person) to go over all the final wedding details.
____ Start packing for your honeymoon if applicable.

One week out:
____ Send out a final timeline to all wedding vendors, and make sure they have directions to the venue, unloading info, and parking info.
____ Make a packing list of things you want to bring to the venue, including a DIY wedding emergency kit.
____ Write out final checks for payments and gratuities for your wedding vendors.

A couple days before the wedding:
____ Begin set-up at the venue as early as the venue will let you in.
____ Drop off welcome goodies for guests at hotels if applicable.
____ Buy any perishable food items that you are responsible for serving during the wedding weekend.

The day before the wedding:
____ Finish (or start) setting up the wedding ceremony and reception spaces.
____ Have a wedding rehearsal.
____ Hand over the planning reins and your planning materials to your wedding coordinator or point person.

The day of the wedding (yay!):
____ Get married, and soak in all the love you feel from your partner as well as your nearest and dearest family and friends, because DIY weddings are super amazing

The day after the wedding:
____ Clean up, pack up, and go on your way as a newly married couple.

The week or few days after the wedding:
____ Take a breather from wedding-related tasks and go on a honeymoon, mini-moon, or even a stay-at-home honeymoon.

One to three months after the wedding:
____ Send thank you cards.

Forever after!
____ Relish in the memories of your amazing wedding day. Congrats!

Did you think this list was helpful? Then you'll love the full-length, 10-page PDF version below!

Bachelorette parties — like brides — can come in all different shapes, colors, and sizes. If you're looking for bachelorette party ideas for a bride who, like some of my DIY Wedding Mentor clients, would be less than enthused about wrapping herself in toilet paper or eating a penis cake (or just hates the idea of bachelorette parties in general), then you're likely in need of some outside-the-box, non-traditional bachelorette party ideas.
​
First thing's first for any bachelorette party, though: make sure to ask the bride what she wants to do for the special event. You may be surprised to find that what she wants to do for her bachelorette is completely different than what she'd normally consider a fun night out with the girls. After all, getting married is a rite of passage, and more and more bachelorette parties — especially for those over 30 — are becoming meaningful, thoughtful celebrations rather than all-night ragers that include taking shots with drunk male strangers at a bar. In some cases, brides are even saying that they prefer to forgo the traditional all women's party, and have co-ed bachelorette parties.

So ask the bride what type of celebration she would like, and then choose your activities from there. If you're planning a pre-wedding fête for a non-traditional bride who's looking for a meaningful party with the women in her life, then these five bachelorette party ideas are bound to get you headed on the right track.

1. Play The Quote Guessing Game
In this game, every woman picks a quote, song, or poem that they think has some valuable wisdom for the bride and her marriage journey ahead. They type it on a piece of paper, and then bring it to the bachelorette party. At the party, all the quotes, songs, and poems are collected and put into a basket and mixed up so no one knows whose is whose. The bride (or alternatively each of the women at the party, for brides who don't enjoy the spotlight) picks one from the basket one at a time and reads it. Then the bride has to guess which woman at the party has given her that quote, song, or poem.

This is a great way to still incorporate a traditional "game" into a bachelorette party, while still infusing it with some meaning for brides who are looking for something heartfelt in their celebration.

Sound like the right fit for the bride you're celebrating? Here's what's needed: a quote, song, or poem from every woman at the party, and a basket to collect them in.

2. Throw A Goddess Party
Elizabeth Stahl, a life coach and self-proclaimed goddess, facilitates goddess parties for bachelorette parties that she describes as: "A ceremony that honors the Bride and her close circle of female friends, bonding them as women in a beautiful, loving, and supportive way. It is a special gift for the Bride — to be blessed, loved, and supported by her closest circle of women as she steps forward into her new life.It involves creating a sacred space at the start of the party with candles or incense, having each woman choose or create a goddess crown to reflect her personality, honoring each woman in the circle for their intrinsic gifts that they bring to the group, and having each woman select a spiritual card that reflects her inner goddess."

Though it would be ideal to have someone like Stahl facilitate a goddess party, it would also be possible to create your own version of a goddess party.

Sound like the right fit for the bride you're celebrating? Here's what's needed: candles and/or incense, craft materials to create goddess crowns, and goddess cards.

3. Create A Scrapbook
Creating a scrapbook is a great way to give the bride one thoughtful gift from everyone at the bachelorette party. Some ideas of what to include in the scrapbook are letters to the bride, favorite memories of the bride (written out and with pictures), favorite recipes to share with the bride, or pieces of meaningful marriage advice. Scrapbooks can be created in advance, or at the bachelorette party as an activity. If creating one at the party, just make sure to give the guests a heads up as to what they will need to bring to the party to complete their page for the scrapbook.

Sound like the right fit for the bride you're celebrating? Here's what's needed: a scrapbook, craft materials, and a letter, memory, recipe, or piece of advice from each guest.

4. Have A Talking Stick Ceremony
A talking stick ceremony requires that the group of women sit in a circle, with each one speaking at a different time. In advance of the party, you decide upon how many questions and what questions you would like to pose to the group. In her book The Conscious Bride, Sheryl Paul quotes a bride, Victoria, who did the talking stick ceremony with her group of friends before her wedding:

"The way it works is the stick, which can be any item, is placed in the middle, and whoever wants to speak next picks it up. The guidelines are: Speak from the heart. Listen from the heart. Do not interrupt when someone else is speaking. May your words be lean and concise. Nothing leaves the circle without permission.The questions Victoria's group used were 1.) What does marriage mean to you? 2.) Does anyone have any fears about how their relationship with the bride might change after the wedding? and 3.) How has the bride's love affected them?"

These are good to start with, but you can come up with your own set of questions that best reflects the bride you're celebrating. Victoria used a hair tie as her talking stick so that she would remember all her girlfriends and her meaningful celebration every time she wore it, and again, you can choose an item that you think would be the most meaningful to the bride.

Sound like the right fit for the bride you're celebrating? Here's what's needed: An object to serve as the talking stick, and a list of three questions to pose to the group.

5. Create A Time Capsule
A fun throwback to a favorite childhood activity is creating a time capsule at the bachelorette party. You can either have everyone bring items to the party such as a picture with the bride and something that represents what each guest loves most about the bride, or have everyone find an item to include in the time capsule during the bachelorette party such as a menu from a restaurant that the group eats at together, or the lyrics to a song everyone danced to during the party. Then have everyone deposit their items into the time capsule with a note to the bride, and set a date that you agree to open the time capsule together such as the couple's five-year anniversary.

This is a great way to incorporate an oldie-but-goodie activity, make the bride feel loved, and set up a date to come back together down the road.

Sound like the right fit for the bride you're celebrating? Here's what's needed: something to serve as the time capsule such as a shoe box, objects to include in the time capsule, paper and pens to write notes to the bride with, and ribbon to tie the notes to the objects with.

No matter what you're planning, know that it's certainly OK — and preferred by many — to break up old wedding conventions in favor of new non-traditional wedding trends that more appropriately reflect the bride. Creating a party that's a true reflection of the bride is certainly the very best way to honor her before her wedding.

This post also appeared on Bustle.com. 

By Caitlin Frauton

Are you on the lookout for non-traditional wedding ideas? If so, you are not alone as many independent-minded couples are spending much less time during the wedding-planning process researching traditions that they “must” do, and are instead spending much more time dreaming up alternative ways to celebrate their love.  From flash mob proposals to getting married at a unique wedding venue like the inside of a cave, weddings have never looked more non-traditional. As a result, the weddings these days totally rock. 

If you’re including certain customs at your wedding even though they don’t mean a thing to you or your partner, then it’s best to skip wedding traditions in favor of something that is a better reflection of your relationship. Whenever I’m helping a couple to plan a wedding, I always tell them anything is possible no matter how outlandish it sounds to family, friends, or co-workers. If it’s important to them (and it’s within their budget), we will find a way to make it work. Even if it’s not in their budget, we’ll incorporate some creative, less expensive aspect of what they want to do. Where there’s a will, there’s a way! 

Don’t worry though — you don’t need to orchestrate a flash mob proposal or get married in one of nature’s caverns to end up with a meaningful, awesomely alternative wedding. So before you start racking your brain for some unique wedding planning ideas, here are a few ways to veer off the beaten path.

Today, there are so many options when it comes to wedding registries, you can let people know that your wedding is non-traditional well before they arrive on the big day. For instance, SoKind Registry lets you register for traditional household items, plus experiences like cooking classes, music lessons, and even day-of event help from family and friends on your wedding day. Meanwhile, KnotProfit allows couples to accept charitable donations for their favorite causes in lieu of traditional gifts. From registries for honeymoons to registries for down payments on a home, nothing says “non-traditional wedding” right off the bat like a non-traditional wedding registry. 

The best way to show your guests what makes your relationship special is by sharing the experiences the two of you enjoy most together. Do you spend Sundays together sipping on cups of coffee at your local coffee shop? Consider having your rehearsal dinner at the coffee shop, or having a barista serving coffee at your reception. Are you avid hikers? Think about having your wedding at a nature center with some easy trails for guests to walk along while having your ceremony take place in a few different spots along the trail. Big fans of Superman? Go on, throw on Superman t-shirt under that tux! Whatever your shared interests are, they can be incorporated into your wedding to make it a true reflection of the both of you.

Plated dinners have long been a staple of traditional weddings, but now with mobile caterers and food trucks, the food possibilities are practically endless. Family-style dinners and buffets are great dinner choices while cocktail receptions and brunches are other, more casual and less expensive options. From cheese wheel wedding cakes to pancake wedding cakes, there are a million different ways to reflect your personalities with your food choices. Whatever it is that you choose to serve, make sure that the food is a reflection of what you and your partner enjoy eating most. If you both have very unique tastes, just make sure to include a couple of traditional options for the less adventurous guests in your group.

Let’s be honest, as the engagement period has morphed into a time of awesome celebrating made up of a bunch of various wedding festivities (think engagement party, shower, bachelorette party, bachelor party, hair, nails, and makeup… oh my!), wedding parties are contributing more of their time and money than ever before. They are organizing weekend-long bachelor and bachelorette parties, assembling DIY projects, throwing Pinterest-worthy showers, and doing so much more. As a thank you for the additional work they are doing, consider covering part or all of the cost for their wedding attire and other wedding-related expenses. They will be so happy not to have the normal onslaught of wedding-related expenses, and word is bound to get out about your thoughtful, “non-traditional” approach to your wedding.

With these tips, you’re well on your way to having a wedding that’s totally unique to you and your partner — and one that guests will love. As your wedding-planning focus shifts from working through checklists of things that “must” be done to finding special ways to share the unique qualities of your relationship, your wedding becomes a one-of-a-kind celebration of marriage. And that is what the very best weddings are all about.

Images: Matt Cowan/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images; The CheeseWorks; Getty (2); AForestFrolic/Flickr. This article originally appeared on Bustle.com.