​When I was planning our summer camp wedding, one of the things I knew was going to be a BIG task was set up, but what I didn't realize is exactly what that would entail. 

I guessed on how long set up would take. I guessed at how many people we would need to help. And I guessed about the areas we would need to set up. 

As a result, I, Rick (my wonderful, now husband), and our nearest and dearest were totally under prepared for doing the set up for our DIY wedding.

We're blessed with AMAZING friends and family with inspiring can-do attitudes, but had we known all that setting up would entail - truth be told - we would have done it differently  (and avoided seeing some of our best helpers look a bit like zombies toward the end the of wedding). 

So now knowing what I know as a wedding coordinator for DIY weddings and having helped with set up for dozens of weddings, this is what I would have done differently:

• I would have gotten super clear on what set up entailed beyond putting centerpieces on tables
• I would have trimmed the non-necessities (goodbye bed linens for the camp cabins and hello B.Y.O.B.S. a.k.a. bring your own bed sheets!) 
• I would have delegated better (and not had a few champion helpers do the vast majority of tasks)
• And I would have added in a lot more time for set up (I've since learned underestimating set-up time is very common for DIY weddings)

This week, after a couple people asked about it, I made it may goal to help couples anticipate their own set-up needs by talking about it frankly in the Facebook group DIY Wedding LOVEFEST.  

Hope this helps you with the set up for your own wedding, and leads to wedding day zen for you, your partner, family and friends! 

Bachelorette parties — like brides — can come in all different shapes, colors, and sizes. If you're looking for bachelorette party ideas for a bride who, like some of my DIY Wedding Mentor clients, would be less than enthused about wrapping herself in toilet paper or eating a penis cake (or just hates the idea of bachelorette parties in general), then you're likely in need of some outside-the-box, non-traditional bachelorette party ideas.
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First thing's first for any bachelorette party, though: make sure to ask the bride what she wants to do for the special event. You may be surprised to find that what she wants to do for her bachelorette is completely different than what she'd normally consider a fun night out with the girls. After all, getting married is a rite of passage, and more and more bachelorette parties — especially for those over 30 — are becoming meaningful, thoughtful celebrations rather than all-night ragers that include taking shots with drunk male strangers at a bar. In some cases, brides are even saying that they prefer to forgo the traditional all women's party, and have co-ed bachelorette parties.

So ask the bride what type of celebration she would like, and then choose your activities from there. If you're planning a pre-wedding fête for a non-traditional bride who's looking for a meaningful party with the women in her life, then these five bachelorette party ideas are bound to get you headed on the right track.

1. Play The Quote Guessing Game
In this game, every woman picks a quote, song, or poem that they think has some valuable wisdom for the bride and her marriage journey ahead. They type it on a piece of paper, and then bring it to the bachelorette party. At the party, all the quotes, songs, and poems are collected and put into a basket and mixed up so no one knows whose is whose. The bride (or alternatively each of the women at the party, for brides who don't enjoy the spotlight) picks one from the basket one at a time and reads it. Then the bride has to guess which woman at the party has given her that quote, song, or poem.

This is a great way to still incorporate a traditional "game" into a bachelorette party, while still infusing it with some meaning for brides who are looking for something heartfelt in their celebration.

Sound like the right fit for the bride you're celebrating? Here's what's needed: a quote, song, or poem from every woman at the party, and a basket to collect them in.

2. Throw A Goddess Party
Elizabeth Stahl, a life coach and self-proclaimed goddess, facilitates goddess parties for bachelorette parties that she describes as: "A ceremony that honors the Bride and her close circle of female friends, bonding them as women in a beautiful, loving, and supportive way. It is a special gift for the Bride — to be blessed, loved, and supported by her closest circle of women as she steps forward into her new life.It involves creating a sacred space at the start of the party with candles or incense, having each woman choose or create a goddess crown to reflect her personality, honoring each woman in the circle for their intrinsic gifts that they bring to the group, and having each woman select a spiritual card that reflects her inner goddess."

Though it would be ideal to have someone like Stahl facilitate a goddess party, it would also be possible to create your own version of a goddess party.

Sound like the right fit for the bride you're celebrating? Here's what's needed: candles and/or incense, craft materials to create goddess crowns, and goddess cards.

3. Create A Scrapbook
Creating a scrapbook is a great way to give the bride one thoughtful gift from everyone at the bachelorette party. Some ideas of what to include in the scrapbook are letters to the bride, favorite memories of the bride (written out and with pictures), favorite recipes to share with the bride, or pieces of meaningful marriage advice. Scrapbooks can be created in advance, or at the bachelorette party as an activity. If creating one at the party, just make sure to give the guests a heads up as to what they will need to bring to the party to complete their page for the scrapbook.

Sound like the right fit for the bride you're celebrating? Here's what's needed: a scrapbook, craft materials, and a letter, memory, recipe, or piece of advice from each guest.

4. Have A Talking Stick Ceremony
A talking stick ceremony requires that the group of women sit in a circle, with each one speaking at a different time. In advance of the party, you decide upon how many questions and what questions you would like to pose to the group. In her book The Conscious Bride, Sheryl Paul quotes a bride, Victoria, who did the talking stick ceremony with her group of friends before her wedding:

"The way it works is the stick, which can be any item, is placed in the middle, and whoever wants to speak next picks it up. The guidelines are: Speak from the heart. Listen from the heart. Do not interrupt when someone else is speaking. May your words be lean and concise. Nothing leaves the circle without permission.The questions Victoria's group used were 1.) What does marriage mean to you? 2.) Does anyone have any fears about how their relationship with the bride might change after the wedding? and 3.) How has the bride's love affected them?"

These are good to start with, but you can come up with your own set of questions that best reflects the bride you're celebrating. Victoria used a hair tie as her talking stick so that she would remember all her girlfriends and her meaningful celebration every time she wore it, and again, you can choose an item that you think would be the most meaningful to the bride.

Sound like the right fit for the bride you're celebrating? Here's what's needed: An object to serve as the talking stick, and a list of three questions to pose to the group.

5. Create A Time Capsule
A fun throwback to a favorite childhood activity is creating a time capsule at the bachelorette party. You can either have everyone bring items to the party such as a picture with the bride and something that represents what each guest loves most about the bride, or have everyone find an item to include in the time capsule during the bachelorette party such as a menu from a restaurant that the group eats at together, or the lyrics to a song everyone danced to during the party. Then have everyone deposit their items into the time capsule with a note to the bride, and set a date that you agree to open the time capsule together such as the couple's five-year anniversary.

This is a great way to incorporate an oldie-but-goodie activity, make the bride feel loved, and set up a date to come back together down the road.

Sound like the right fit for the bride you're celebrating? Here's what's needed: something to serve as the time capsule such as a shoe box, objects to include in the time capsule, paper and pens to write notes to the bride with, and ribbon to tie the notes to the objects with.

No matter what you're planning, know that it's certainly OK — and preferred by many — to break up old wedding conventions in favor of new non-traditional wedding trends that more appropriately reflect the bride. Creating a party that's a true reflection of the bride is certainly the very best way to honor her before her wedding.

This post also appeared on Bustle.com. 

Often the hardest part of writing a maid of honor speech for a wedding is figuring out just how to start your speech. You know what not to say in a wedding toast (like mentioning exes, embarrassing stories, or drunken debacles), but knowing what to say about a great friend and her new spouse can leave even the best of public speakers a bit overwhelmed. There is so much to say in just two to three minutes! Thankfully, there are a few tried and true ways to start a speech that will help get your creative juices flowing in no time.

The list below lays out eight intro ideas for your maid of honor speech, but you can also use them to write your whole entire speech. Simply pick one idea to start your speech, or follow numbers one to eight to write your entire speech. Either way, once you start brainstorming a few different intros, you're likely to stumble on a gem of an idea and find your maid-of-honor-speech-writing stride before you know it. So take a deep breath, grab a glass of wine (preferably poured into one of those big goblet glasses), and let your maid of honor awesomeness flow!

1. Tell who you are
It's always a good idea to start your speech by letting the crowd know who you are, and how you know the bride. Otherwise, they may be asking the people around them, "Who is she?" right as you're getting to the best part of your speech.

2. Give thanks
Since everyone knows weddings are expensive and require a lot of time and energy to plan, it's a good idea to recognize the parents who helped contribute to make the celebration possible. Particularly if the parents are hosting the wedding reception, or have hosted any of the wedding festivities, now is an appropriate time to thank them, and it gives everyone else the opportunity to clap and show their appreciation as well.

3. Tell a story about the bride
You can start off by telling a story about the bride, or by telling the story of how you and the bride first met. Just remember to leave exes, drunken shenanigans, and unflattering stories of the bride out. This is definitely a situation where the "whole truth and nothing but the truth" is not applicable.

4. Tell a story about the first time you met the groom
Beginning your speech with a funny story about how you met the groom for the first time can be a good way to get people laughing. Were you at a concert with your friend when this random guy (a.k.a. the groom) tripped and spilled a drink on her? Did she try on 15 different outfits before he came to your shared post-college apartment to pick her up for their first date? Any fun stories about your first impressions can make for a good laugh, and provide a window into the couple's first days together for the rest of the guests.

5. Tell a story about the couple
Telling a story about the couple is always a great segue into saying "That was the time I knew it was true love..." You can start by saying you remember that time they went to a baseball game together, or camping for the weekend, or out to lunch at that corner cafe, and that's when you saw a change in your friend. Something was different after that one time, and it would never be the same again (in a really good way).

6. Use a prop
Using a prop for a wedding speech is something that can go fantastically well if it ties into the main idea of the speech. Some good props can be old photos, slideshows, or an unexpected item like a childhood toy. This is not something that you want to force into your speech by any means, but if you happen to think of a prop that would work well, it can make a good wedding speech all that more amazing and memorable.

7. Share a love quote
A good way to start (or end) a speech is with a powerful quote about love that will resonate with the couple and the guests. Something meaningful that gives guests something to think about is always a safe bet.

8. Ask the audience a question
A good way to pick up everyone's energy is to bring an interactive component to your speech, like asking the audience a question. If done at the start of your speech, you may use a question like "Raise your hand if..." and "How many people here..." and then insert something funny about the couple. If you're going this route, it's a good idea to have a few shills in the audience who can get the audience going and encourage others to respond to the question. A question at the end of the speech can be something simple that will leave guests cheering like "Who is ready to celebrate this couple with an awesome party?" (and who doesn't like a good cheer after a speech!?).

Just remember to keep it short, keep it sweet, and keep it about the couple. As long as you speak from your heart, the couple will love it no matter what — and that's all that really counts.

​This article originally appeared on Bustle.com. Image: Sean O'Shaughnessy/Flickr